I'd rather stay left unsaid

My world orbits around words. Profession: a linguist. Should I not know all the words (Chuck Norris-like ambition)? You would imagine that I have an answer for anything and if you are not sure how to say things I will come up with this brilliant phrase to communicate a rubbish message with a cherry on top. I have spent over 4 years interpreting both glorious and bad news and for the last 2,5 years I have been saying what people do not want to hear with such a manner so that they leave our meeting smiling whilst closing the door behind them. It is all about what we say, right? Is that not how communication works? What we require for a basic act of communication is at least two individuals who have a message to convey, right? My applied linguistics professor would be proud. I have, however, found myself in a world where importance is shifted from what is being said to the exact opposite. Silence has never been so important.

Be it at your workplace or at home, it has become far more important what we decide not to say. In a reality where information is overwhelming us with updates vibrating into our bloodstream via Apple Watches, we have forgotten how peaceful we might be with not knowing. All I have been hearing from my friends lately is 'I must know whether...', 'he cannot live without knowing'. What a load of crap. Yes, it is information and not the lack of it that kills us. It can penetrate our bodies and become the most disturbing part of everyday living. I work in an environment where you can constantly hear people talk. Words pour out faster and faster and their meaning is diluted between each unnecessary syllable produced by our tongues, teeth and lips.

This evening a friend of mine asked me for some photos from an event she was exhibiting at. I went back through my photos 4 years too far by mistake. By performing this longer stroke of a finger of my mouse I have taken myself back to the time where I spoke less. I was constantly and shamelessly being reprimanded by my loved one that I spoke too much. He would say it with a twinkle in his eye every time I thought I was invited to Ted Talks on his sofa. And one night I told him I knew he was getting married. It has changed everything. One little sentence. Of course I'd rather not have overheard a conversation about this in the first place. Then I wished I kept my lips sealed for that very moment. Just for a bit longer. That moment that changed or lives irreversibly.

Someone has recently asked me why did I not tell the other woman? Maybe because that would officially make me the other woman and I enjoyed thinking that I was 'the one'. Being covered in marshmallows of my imagination smelling of baby powder was far more comfortable. I knew if I said too much I would strip myself of good memories. 'I'd rather stay left unsaid.' Like the 'I love you' he told me without words every day.