Tuesday, 16 June 2015
Or is she...?
Correct me if I'm wrong but it seems like Mandy Hale is a woman herself. In her humble (yet not so humble as she's being quoted to nearly 5.5 million followers of Word Porn plus gazillions of people they share it with) opinion a woman is more attractive when being vibrant, busy, more than likely fulfilled and independent. I have to admit that I would think so as well, at first glance so here I was about to share it with 350 of my friends on Facebook. But before I clicked the magic blue button I had a second thought: or is she?
Just like Charlotte (SATC), I have been dating since I was 15. Nearly half of my life so far so let's say I've got a bit of experience. That the fact that I have been repeatedly 'rejected' by the opposite sex was actually very often based on the fact that I was independent, busy, vibrant, self-confident and all things we are pressured to be. Or choose to be as we hate the bleak, ghost-like women who start every sentence with 'my boyfriend says/thinks/does'.
By no means will I go into detail here but there are at least three of my numerous life stories that would support the fact that women like us (strong, independent, etc) are the ones who are not attractive at all. Ok, let me get something straight. We are attractive at the first glance - men gather around admiring our smiles, laugh at stories we choose to tell with a hint of flirtation, offer to spot us at the gym. That's all great. But once they realise that we are perfectly ok on our own they do not see the need to hang around. Unless you're offering a comfortable shag.
Not so long ago I have been told that they (the fabulous men I was involved with) were getting back together/staying with/going to marry yet another girl that was present in their lives (I am not proud to admit that may have been 'the other woman') because, and I quote, 'she needs me', 'she loves me and I can't do this to her', 'she will collapse without me', 'she is not as confident as you', 'I don't want to leave her devastated'. So I was left, collapsed, lost self-confidence but still hopeful that things will be different next time (oh yes, so smart yet so stupid).
Dear Ms Hale. Please spare us this 'quote of the day' which will leave us deluded and thinking that we are right. We aren't. My father once told me that it will be difficult for me to find a good man because I simply don't need one. I got my place on my own, graduated from uni, I can fix cracks, install a dishwasher and check oil level in my car. I wish I couldn't do all that sometimes. I wish someone was there to do it but, as any earthly being, I adapted. So is love a simple relation like the supply - demand one I was lectured about so many times at uni? Is it really that simple? If so, is it my own fault I don't have it because I don't create demand? Or are we facing short supply? Maybe it's a continuous imbalance of both? I'm not really sure how I got my A in economics....